A Leap of Faith

"What am I doing?" WHAT. AM. I. DOING?" I reach for the closest twig I can find, praying that it will keep me from tumbling down to my death. I inch my way up the cliff, little by little, grabbing for anything to keep me safe.


"Am I really going to do this?" Doubt fills my mind. "I might die!" Consumed by my fear, I realize I have reached the top. I lean over and see how far down it is. In reality, it's probably not that high, but to me, it was the highest cliff on earth.


"I shouldn't have looked. What am I doing? If I leave now, I will look weak. If I leave now, I am giving up."

 
I try to stand and immediately return to my crouching position.


I attempt a second time. I am able to stand, body trembling. My friends offer words of encouragement. As each encouragement is spoken, I inch closer and closer, until I can inch no further.


"Lord, I'm terrified. Please don't let me die."


And as if He were guiding me, I was gently pushed forward into the unknown. I had nowhere to go but down. I could choose the easy way and go back down the way I came or choose a path that could lead to something more.


Eyes squeezed shut, nose plugged. I took a leap of faith.

 
I jumped off the ledge and trusted God would keep me safe. And He did!

 

"Having hope will give you courage." ~ Job 11:18

 

For the people who know me, this is completely out of my character. In the past, I have been very content living in the box I have created for myself. But now! I'm craving more, more of everything.


I am thankful for my trials because it has made me more appreciative of what I have now. I look back at the mountains and valleys that it has taken to get to this point. But He brought me through it, as He promised.

"We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. ~ Romans 5:3-4

 

The Lord has been gradually changing the desires of my heart. As I said above, I crave more. I crave God's Word like I never have and it excites me!! The possibilities are endless when I walk with Him.

 

For "I cling to you; your right hand holds me securely." ~ Psalm 63:8

I also crave adventure more than I ever have. A friend told me recently to "not let fear or money get in the way of things I want to do." This statement kept turning over in my head.


I have been listening to sermons online from Mars Hill Church and while I was talking with my friend who lives there, I asked them if they've ever been. "Yes! I love it! they replied. I mentioned that I would love to go one day and they said "Come up!”


Could I really just "come up" that easily? The next thing I know, I am looking at flights. Fear reared its ugly head and I started thinking about all the MONEY I would spend and I'm sure I could use it somewhere else. REALLY?!?


I sat down and looked over my finances and it all worked out, but why was I still hesitating?

 

FEAR!!

 

"Do not let fear or money get in the way!" Again this statement came to mind. Is God trying to tell me something through my friend's words?


Three days later, I'm sitting in front of the computer, absolutely paralyzed as I look at flights again. "What am I waiting for?" I could literally feel the fear coursing through my body.

 

"Don't worry about anything; instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He's done." ~ Philippians 4:6

 

I say a little prayer and with some words of encouragement, I clicked "purchase."


Purchasing a plane ticket may not seem as courageous as jumping off a cliff but both situations forced me to trust God completely. I don't really have a plan except, I know when I'm leaving and where I'm staying, after that, it is unknown.
 

But Jesus said, "If you try and hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it. And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but are yourself lost or destroyed." ~ Luke 9:24-25

 

I'm not sure what will come from the journey ahead but I'm excited to see how God works in my life.