I don’t know what happened to me this last week; all I know is that I fell off the wagon hard!! Since I started my weight loss journey I’ve had my fair share of ups and downs with food and exercise, but I have to say that recently I feel like I have been doing pretty well. I allow myself to have a cheat meal sometimes two but then I know that it is right back to healthy eating and exercise after that. But this last week was brutal! Monday and Tuesday I was sick and my diet mostly consisted of saltine crackers and Gatorade. Wednesday I was feeling much better, I didn’t have a huge appetite but I was able to go to work, which was nice. I decided it best not to push myself too fast so I didn’t go to boot camp.
Thursday is when the "you know what" hit the fan! My day started out normal, oatmeal for breakfast, packed my healthy lunch and off to work I went. Then things started falling apart and for some reason the stress got to me. Then I thought “Man, a bacon cheeseburger and fries sound good, and it will make me feel better.” I knew in the back of my mind that I shouldn’t, I had my lunch packed, and I was prepared! I was weak in the moment and off I went to get my bacon cheeseburger and fries. It was satisfying but the minute I was done I could feel the grease coating my insides. I felt horrible, my stomach hurt and I was tired. But the sad thing is I didn’t regret it.
I didn’t regret it until I got on the scale Friday morning and I was up 2.4 pounds! I knew I was going to be up, I can’t eat that way and not be up. I didn’t get mad because even though I still haven’t reached my goal, I knew that I could lose that 2.4 pounds and be on my way to getting on track again. Friday I tried really hard to eat within my calorie budget but by the time I was off work I was craving Mexican food bad!! I had a free frozen yogurt from the Yogurt Hut so I decided to treat myself. When I left Yogurt Hut I kept going back and forth “should I stop and get Mexican food? No I can’t stop!” I gripped my steering wheel and focused as I drove straight home, avoiding any Mexican restaurants. I decided I could make a bean burrito at home and that should hold me over on my craving. Then I got the great idea to fry it in olive oil so it was crunchy! While it wasn’t exactly what I wanted it did curb the craving for day.
Saturday morning came and I woke up early and went on a six mile walk with my aunt. I was starting to feel like I was getting a handle on my healthy lifestyle again. But then I heard something that hit me wrong and I instantly was in a bad mood and wanted nothing but greasy fast food again! I found myself going to Taco Bell for dinner and eating a Mexican Pizza, Volcano Taco, Cheesy Gordita Crunch, and some of my mom’s nachos. I couldn’t believe that I just consumed all that food. Now if you are a calorie counter like me I just consumed about 1480 calories in one meal! It was ridiculous! Once I left my mom’s house I went home and had a big bowl of frozen yogurt; all this because of something so small but big to me. Normally I can keep my emotions in check and find a different outlet for my frustrations but Saturday I reverted back to my old habits and it started to scare me a little. Will I be able to stop and get back on track or will this past year of hard work be for nothing?
I knew that this behavior was unacceptable for me so I made a choice and stayed within my calories on Sunday and chose good healthy food. Monday morning I would start back up with my boot camp class and hit the gym. This last week was only a setback not a failure. I learned that I refuse to let myself fall back into those unhealthy habits ever again! I don’t like how I feel about myself when I choose to eat like that. I know that a healthy lifestyle is what I need now and forever!
Believe in yourself and you can do anything!
