One Year 7/12/11

One year ago today I chose to make a change in my life. One year ago today I chose to believe in myself, and one year ago today I weighed 46 lbs heavier. It’s amazing to me to think how far I have come in just one year.  365 days of hard work, tears and a lot of sweat, but here I am, stronger than I have ever felt in my life.

If you have known me a while, you know that I have struggled with my weight for the majority of my life. I have tried everything I could think of desperate to lose that extra weight. Last year I was introduced to the HCG diet. I was very skeptical of it at first but then started to see the changes that were happening to my friends. I thought “maybe this is something I can do. Maybe this is the answer to my problem.” It worked, but at the cost of feeling deprived of foods I loved, especially carbs! I went through my 21 days with a result of 17 pounds lost. I was feeling good but was craving exercise and more variety in my food.

I chose to stop the HCG and continue living a healthy lifestyle through counting calories and good old fashioned exercise. I started walking after work with a friend and this got me motivated to start introducing my DVDs back into the equation. I personally love Jillian Michaels and Biggest Loser DVDs. I started slow, progressing my way through the levels. As time went by I was able to do exercises that I couldn’t before. I was challenging myself to see what else I could do. Before I knew it I was becoming stronger.

It wasn’t always easy though. There have been, and still are, days where I am tempted by certain foods like sweets. But I have to remember what my goal is and sometimes that works and other times I just give in. I just know that I have to work harder at the next workout. I have learned to balance living life and enjoying it with picking my battles with food. I used to find myself at the end of a hard, emotional day sitting at the drive thru; now I find other ways to deal with my feelings. I find that writing my feelings out really helps because sometimes when I am writing, feelings come to me that I don’t realize until I go back and reread what I’ve written. It is an amazing outlet.

With all that said and done, none of this would be possible without my support group, you know who you are. I want to thank each of you so very much for sticking with me and encouraging me to be the best that I can be. Without you I know that I would have failed yet again. Some of you have sacrificed eating what you wanted because you knew that I couldn’t say no. Others have exercised with me even though they didn’t need another workout. Then there are the people who listened to me constantly, never judging me but inspiring me to make a smart choice and keep me accountable, like checking my lunch everyday for a long time to make sure I was making a good choice. I hope you all know what you mean to me! Thank you always and forever!

This year I have tried things that I have never tried before. ZUMBA is one of them. I have found a renewed love of dance that I lost when I grew up. I look forward to ZUMBA every week. I drive from South Medford to Gold Hill right now just to get my dance on and I wouldn’t change it because I am doing something I love! I also just signed up for a half marathon that I will walk in September. I have been training for a while but actually made the commitment to sign up. I had been putting it off for some reason but yesterday I made the choice to commit and challenge myself to something new. I also completed my very first boot camp class last night. It was the most challenging and satisfying workout I have ever had. I found driving home a little difficult because every muscle in my body hurt, but I knew that was just my body becoming stronger. I want to see exactly what I am capable of, which I know is a lot!

With that said, if any of you are struggling with your weight or anything else; just know that you are worth it to take a chance on yourself! You are worth it! I didn’t believe this for a long time and honestly still struggle with it. If you think “Oh I can’t do it because (insert excuse),” just think of one reason that you can and that’s all you need. A very special person told me this and I try to apply it to my life now. Hold on to that one reason and believe that you are worth it. If you need a buddy to workout with, I am here. If you just need someone to support you, I am here. Believe me I am not perfect when it comes to weight loss, I just know that having someone who cares and is there for you to say “NO, put it back, you don’t need it!” makes all the difference in the world. Please believe in yourself and believe that you can do it. I am doing it right now!

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Giving Yourself Credit

On a normal morning I wake up between 4 or 5 a.m. (depending on my morning workout), I have breakfast, read my Bible, and finish off with my workout. The only change on those mornings is weighing in. I pick Monday, Wednesday, and Friday to weigh in as a check in for myself. Do I need to step it up a notch or am I doing a good job? These mornings bring a lot of excitement because I want to see my hard work pay off. It's like a game to me, sometimes I lose and sometimes I gain. On the mornings I gain, I feel defeated, as if all my hard work has been for nothing. This has happened to me more than a few times in my weight loss journey, as it has for you as well. However, a recent weight gain put some perspective on the situation for me.

It's Monday morning and I'm feeling pretty good about my odds with the scale. I went to lunch that Saturday with my mom; I enjoyed myself but didn't feel like I went out of control. So I get on the scale and I wait as it calculates, all the while I'm saying, "just let it same the same, just the same is all I want." I look down and I see that my weight has gone up .8 lbs. I don't know what comes over me bit I'm furious with myself! The whole weekend flashes before my eyes and I'm remembering everything, wishing I could take it back so I don't feel like this.

I storm out of the bathroom and start making my breakfast. I'm slamming bowls and oatmeal on the counter still steaming about my gain. I sit down to eat my breakfast and open my Bible to Matthew. I start reading about people who are blind or sick and Jesus heals them. It was like a light turned on and I stop reading and think to myself, "Bridgette, there are worse problems in the world right now besides your gain. You should not be worrying and acting so childish. Give yourself credit for what you have accomplished!"

I felt so inspired by this that I finished my breakfast and gave 100% on my workout. I worked out whatever frustration was left. I felt it leaving my body through the sweat that was dripping off my face. Every drop of sweat was weakness and frustration leaving my body, making me a stronger person.

The rest of my week goes on and I'm thrown curve balls of temptation and some I hit out of the park and the others hit me. But now when I find myself looking at a higher number on the scale I don't get mad, I stop and say, "Bridgette this is only a set back. You know what you need to do to achieve your goal, so do it!" I lift my head high and continue on with my day. I focus on what I have accomplished and look at the size 16 pants that I will never wear again, instead I look at the size 10 I wear now and say, "Damn I feel good today!"